His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
