My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
