I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
