no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
