I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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