the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
