it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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