I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
