Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
