Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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