i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
