I could have mohawked her pubes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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