I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize