I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
