There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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