if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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