Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nicole vs. Life
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
