I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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