I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
