you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
