finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
