This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
