Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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