Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Green mimosas i think yes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
