who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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