If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
