weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
