I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
