i can't believe i had my finger in that
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
