I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
thus making me awesome and them whores
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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