1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
