Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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