I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
True strength comes from lack of pants
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
