Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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