I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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