sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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