Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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