I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
