I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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