Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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