this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
