You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
