Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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