Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
