Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
