When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
