I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
