Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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