I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
