Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
