I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
