is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
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