No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize