It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
