Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
