I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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