I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
