My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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