Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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