it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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