Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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